That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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