Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
