he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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