I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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