At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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