Umm I'm too high to move.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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