Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
