I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
