scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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