Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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