My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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