Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
