You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
