Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
