how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
