I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
