would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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