I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize