I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize