You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's like heaven, but drunker
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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