dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize