Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
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