I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
