You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
