Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
