Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
