Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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