i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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