My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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