I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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