I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
