her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
