Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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