My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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