haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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