Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
