Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize