pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
