New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
