I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Randomize
