WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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