toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
