I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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