sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize