She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize