No stitches, just platelets and will power
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
