mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
