Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
