that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i've created a new STD.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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