I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
