Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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