I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
