Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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