She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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