I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
