Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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