so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
