she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
