How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
