Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
