I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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