you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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