in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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