Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Enjoy the penises
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
