Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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