i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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