butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
