I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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