Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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